Another universal tendency that occurs both inside and outside the church, is the pressure to conform. How many preachers have jokingly said “You have every right to disagree, you have every right to be wrong?”
I have heard this a number of different times, but many times felt that I was being told in no uncertain terms “You are wrong!” It can be a way of cutting off disagreement. And certainly there are times when it needs to happen, but many times the problem is that we do not listen to each other. In seminary I remember a wise professor saying to me “You need to feel the weight of the argument Phil!” In other words, we need to listen and really hear what the other person is saying.
Listening is surely a lost art! One way to improve our listening skills, is to say back what we think the other person is saying. This gives them an opportunity to say "Well yes that is what I meant," or "No," which then can lead to clarification. I am told that I am good with words, but I am very aware of their inadequacy. And this is never more evident to me, then when I am at work at loggerheads with someone. At such times the potential for misunderstanding is enormous!
In expanding a little from what Paul is saying in 2 Timothy, it seems to me that we actually ought at some level to welcome disagreement. What I mean is I think we need to encourage respectful interaction. This then not only gives us an opportunity to correct what is wrong, but also can help to uncover our own blind spots. And we all have blind spots!
Father, please grant me the love and humility that I need when people disagree with me, even if it’s not done in the right way. Help me always to be eager to keep the peace, and to speak the truth in love. In Jesus Name Amen
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