Do onto others 2 – Speaking the truth in love

"I would like to give him a piece of my mind!" 'No no, you can’t afford to give any part of your mind away you need it all!' There are two ways to get this admonition from Ephesians 4: 15 wrong. The first way, under the guise of being honest, is to speak the unvarnished truth, not caring how what we say affects the other person. The second way it is to fail to speak when it is appropriate to do so. In fact both ways lack love. Likely we have all experienced the failure to be loved in both of these ways, though we may not recognize silence in this way!

Correction, even when spoken in love, can be very hard to receive, especially if we have a history of it that came out of a critical spirit. However, as the context of this admonition from Ephesians implies, our relationships will not mature until we learn to both give and receive healthy correction. The Scriptures are very clear that the attitude behind what we say, and how we say something, is every bit as important as what we say. There must be absolutely no trace of judgement. And in order for this to work, we need to know ourselves, we need to know our propensity to fail. So our approach needs to be not only in love, but also in humility and with grace (Galatians 6:1; Matthew 7:1; Colossians 4:6: James 3: 2).

As you are no doubt well aware, the spirit of the age demands that there be absolutely no criticism, no correction period. On the other hand, in a close relationship, silences can be a means of punishment! If somebody won’t speak to you for days, you are likely being punished! It’s interesting to note, that the admonition to speak the truth in love is given in the context of relationships, and of growing up in love. And part of this, is that we need to earn the right, by walking in love, to speak into another’s life. And part of this is to know them well enough to know how much, or how little, they are able realistically to hear at this point in time.

In order for all this this to work, likely both parties will have to do a lot of forgiving! In fact this morning’s admonition to do this, is part of the wider context of this morning’s verse (Ephesians 4:32).

Father, we are all so fragile. So many times we take criticism personally, feeling undermined and unaccepted even when the truth is spoken in love. Help us Lord to distinguish between criticism of what we do, and who we are. And Lord help us to get our security, and acceptance from You, not from people pleasing or anything else. Thank You that Your love for us is deep and powerful an unconditional. You demonstrated this so clearly by the cross, for which I thank You this morning Lord in Jesus Name Amen