Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (Luke 6:31)

If I ask myself what I would have others, with whom I am in relationship do for me, three categories come to mind, speaking, listening and taking responsibility. So firstly then I would like you to speak the truth to me in love. Having said that, I cannot guarantee that I will always receive well what you might have to say to me in love. And this has certainly been true of others with whom I have sought to speak the truth in love. Conflict avoidance can play a huge role in all of this, but there are certainly times when speaking the truth in love, is the only loving thing to do. And while as I say, my first reaction may not be positive, I do promise to consider what you say. This brings me to the second and interrelated point, because the Scripture admonishes me to be slow to speak and quick to hear and slow to wrath (James 1:19).

So secondly, I would like you to receive, as in consider, think and pray about, what I feel is necessary for me to speak to you in love. Listening is not necessarily agreeing with what I say, but it is about understanding and giving due consideration to what is spoken. Listening seems to be a lost art, and I don’t feel heard until the other person can say back to me in their own words, what I have been trying to say to them.

Thirdly I would like you to take responsibility for your part in what may go wrong in our relationship. It seems to be much easier to blame, than to admit that we are wrong when we are (Genesis 3:12)! Sincere apology seems to be very rare, but it is implied in the command to confess our faults one to another. And certainly without it relationship breaks cannot be healed (James 5:16).

Father, if in this way I am to do to others what I would have them to do me, then I need You to help me. So Lord grant me the serenity to keep my mouth shut when to speak even in love, would be counterproductive. Grant me the courage and the grace to speak the truth in love when You call me to do so, even if I know it will not be well received. Lord grant me the ability to hear even when what is said is not spoken with the right words, or with the right attitude, or at the right time. I have certainly been there, and I ask for your and others forgiveness! Lord help me to discern accurately what is and what is not my fault, and so take appropriate responsibility. And Lord help me, at the right time and in the right way and with the right attitude, to make amends for my part in what goes wrong. And give me the wisdom to know if and when doing this would harm them or others in Jesus Name Amen