Do onto others 3 – Quick to hear, slow to wrath

There is a reason that these two admonitions from James 1:19 come together, and that is because anger is often triggered by something somebody says. Without saying too much about being angry and sinning not (Ephesians 4:26), there are times when, at the very least, anger is understandable. Such times include verbal abuse, manipulation and the like. But there are also times when the reaction to the truth spoken even in love, is anger. At such times, our rationalization and denial is likely in danger of being exposed.

Bill Hybels says that when we speak the truth in love we are likely to enter into the tunnel of chaos, and because of the resulting anxiety we are likely to exit posthaste from the direction we came. In other words, we can almost expect the response to speaking the truth, to be anger. But part of being quick to hear, before, during or after we are being triggered by something somebody says, is to do a self examination, and to ask ourselves why we are angry. As mentioned above, anger can be a legitimate, and it can be the very thing that gives us the courage to address abuse manipulation etc.

On the other hand, it is easy to dismiss truth we don’t want to hear as manipulation. So we need to bring these things both to the Lord and to an appropriate mentor or accountability partner, and ask if there is any truth in what is being said. And I say “any” truth, because truth may be spoken to us too strongly, or in inappropriate ways, but still be truth! We need to weigh carefully what is said, and when we are wrong promptly admitted it, and then to initiate appropriate change. The context of this series of posts, is about how we want others to treat us. And what I want, is for you to love me enough to risk my negative reaction (be it anger or hurt), and to speak the truth in love when, using your best discernment, you feel that I need it (Galatians 6:1).

Father, most of us don’t even have a clue how easily we can rationalize our behaviour. I know that I didn’t, and even now I only have a glimpse of how wicked is my heart (Jeremiah 17:9). Lord, help me to be a doer of what I have just written, not a writer only in Jesus Name Amen