I will not let you go until you bless me

I was fighting with the Lord this morning, it really started with feeling helpless in terms of being able to help a friend who always seems to be wrestling, with no real resolution. But it didn’t end there, and it was probably accusation! "How come it’s taking so long for you to come through with the things you have promised me? How come you do this or that for such and such, but you haven’t done it for me?"

I know at times like this, that I am in danger of letting the thorns and thistles, the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the Word and the promises spoken to me, so that they become unfruitful (Mark 4:19). At such times, I see in the spirit the Lord with His arms around me, and me pummeling His chest in frustration. Some would tell me that this is totally inappropriate. But I know that He understands, and that He is big enough to deal with my frustration.

I know that He would rather I come to Him at times like this, rather than turn away and isolate myself from Him. And as I continue to stay, He brings to mind the examples of people in Scripture who waited far longer than I, and whose trials and tribulations were far greater than mine.

I’m thinking again of Abraham who waited 25 years for his promised son, and of Joseph falsely accused thrown into prison etc. etc. And I think of Jacob wrestling with God and telling him “I will not let You go until You bless me” (Genesis 32:26). And I choose to trust Him, I choose to see that He is greater than I. I press into His promises, and I choose to know that He is actively at work in all things for my good, because I love Him and He has called me according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). I choose to be tenacious, I choose to submit to His purpose in the journey. And as I do this, and continue to do this, I slowly come back to peace.

Father, You never promised that it was going to be easy, and it’s just as well because it’s not! But I know, I experience, that when I choose to trust You, You will do what You have promised in Your time, and in Your way. And I know that on that day I will say to You “You have done all things well.” I can’t do this without You Lord, but thank You that you have promised never to leave me nor forsake me. And I rest now in Your presence in Jesus Name Amen