Do unto others 4 – Taking appropriate responsibility

“The woman you gave me…” This is the beginning of the response that Adam gave to the Lord when he was asked if he had eaten of the fruit from the forbidden tree (Genesis 3:12). In essence Adam was saying that it was the woman’s fault, and actually it was God’s fault too, because it was God who gave the woman. As we continue talking about what we would have others do for us, and hence what we should do for them, we are dealing this morning with taking appropriate responsibility.

The woman was deceived (1 Timothy 2:14), but Adam was not, and so in many ways he was more responsible for his choice. He could have said “We are not supposed to do this, and now that we have, we need to go to God and ask Him to sort this out.” The point I am making is that we are not responsible for the sin of others, but we are responsible for our response to the sin of others. This is true be it with the temptation to give in to peer pressure, or in our response to being sinned against. This can be very hard, especially when grievous sin has been committed against us. Nevertheless we do need, for example, to forgive. Not to do so is to poison ourselves and those we love with bitterness (Hebrews 12:15).

In talking about appropriate responsibility, there are situations where it is possible to take too much responsibility. In the “peace at any price” mode of operating, we can get to the place where we are expected to apologize for the sins of others. Though this makes no sense, it does happen! For example Eve could easily have blamed Adam for not protecting her from the beguiling snake. This sort of thing is called codependency. Such behaviour is not good for either of us, and the loving thing, the right thing for us to do for others, is to take appropriate responsibility! The teaching of Cloud and Townsend on boundaries is a useful tool in dealing with this sort of thing.

Father, how easily we get out of balance either not taking enough, or taking too much responsibility. I have been in both places, and I am convinced that working through these issues, is an essential part of sanctification. I am also very aware this morning that though I am on the journey, I still have a ways to go! Help me Lord to take appropriate responsibility in all that I think, say and do. Thank You Father for Your patience with me and with others with whom I am in relationship. Thank You that You have promised to complete the good work that You have begun in us (Philippians 1:6). In Jesus Name Amen