The fruit of the Spirit (II) Joy

I remember years ago in the aftermath of the breakup of my first marriage and before I came to the Lord, dating an insightful young woman. I was presenting a brave and jovial face to her and the world, embodying the proverb “Even in laughter the heart may be sorrowful” (Proverbs 14:13). She saw beyond my mask, and when she commented “Some people who seem really happy are actually really quite sad,” I broke off the relationship! It was just too close to home! And having been there, I see this all over the place. Truly “joy is withered away from the sons of men” (Joel 1:12). We have so much in the West, we are more connected (in one sense) than we have ever been, but the overarching sense I have is of loneliness, shallow relationships and joyless mirth!

I am not sure our culture has a clue of what joy really is, it is not the same as happiness. When I googled this, the very first thing I got was “Joy and happiness are wonderful feelings to experience, but are very different. ... It (joy) comes when you make peace with who you are, why you are and how you are, whereas happiness tends to be externally triggered and is based on other people, things, places, thoughts and events.” I fully agree, and I need to admit that for the first twenty years of my Christian walk, I did not know who I was. I am talking about Biblical knowing. I could have spouted the true doctrine that I am a child of God. I knew this in my head, but not in my heart. I was driven to find my significance, and I tried to find it in what I did for the Lord. It was not working, and I see now that this drivenness was a major contributor to the breakdown of my second marriage!

In the furnace of the rejection, isolation, dishonour and blame (everybody “knew” it was all my fault) that followed, I eventually “found” a deeper relationship with the Lord. But actually, He was seeking that deeper relationship from the start. And I found it, not in spite of it all I was going through, but rather because of it. First and foremost I needed to slow down and smell the roses. Gradually with His constant wooing I allowed Him into my pain and distress, and in doing so knowing that I am His beloved child moved from my head, to my heart. And I am learning to do my part (see James 1:2ff) in facilitating receiving His joy as part of the fruit of a vital Spirit connection with the lover of my soul.

Father, I don’t know if there is any other way for the fruit of Your Spirit to manifest in our lives, than the way of the cross. But it is true Lord Jesus, that as I follow Your example seeking to despise my cross and to push through the pain, I find I am entering into Your joy (Hebrews 12:2). Lord there are so many that I know and love who need Your joy, and I pray for them this morning that they too may find not only joy, but also Your love and Your peace as they pursue a deeper relationship with You. I pray these things in Your precious Name Amen