Sometimes I kick and scream when called to obey, but then afterwards…

My favourite hymn shortly after conversion, was “Trust and obey.” He had rescued me from the pain of the consequences of my own poor choices, and I was learning that His ways are best. As part of that, He was teaching me that if I did not obey, then the old feelings, the emptiness the paranoia etc., would start to return. And the line from the hymn “For there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey,” started to take on great meaning!

The Scripture describes this process as dying to self, that is choosing His will over my own. And most of us don’t realize just how selfish we are, I certainly didn’t, and at some level still do not realize the depths of it! But two things, firstly He never asks us to do something that He Himself has not done only in greater measure, and secondly His ways lead to fulfillment, but mine more often than not, to destruction.

I know this in my head, but my heart does not always know it. And there are times when He asks me to do something that I don’t want to do. And I am not a robot, I can choose not to do it. In fact I can think of many times in the past, when I have known what He wants me to do, and I have come kicking and screaming and saying “Oh all right, I’ll do it.” Then moments later, I am asking myself “What was all that about, why was I making such a fuss?”

And the reason is, that I would be experiencing once again, that His ways are best, that His ways bring fulfillment. And if I know, as it were, that He is eventually going to pry open my clenched fist anyway, then surely it is better that I do it quickly and willingly!

I was aware of this this weekend, when after the frustration and pain of having locked my keys into my car, and shortly after I had resolved it, He asked me to visit someone. In spite of the impatience I was feeling, I chose to obey. And in fact I was truly blessed, as I saw how much my visit and my prayers touched them. I could so easily have missed out on this. You see there is nothing more fulfilling and satisfying than knowing that He has used you to bless others. Perhaps you know this too!

Father, thank You for your patience with me. Help me not only to choose Your ways, but to do it joyfully. Thank You Lord that as I do this, You bless me over and over. I love You Lord, in Jesus Name Amen