Knowing, knowing and knowing (II) In relationships

Last day I was discussing three ways we know, by facts and reasoning, by intuition, and by experience. The three ways of knowing are interrelated, with each added component strengthening the knowing. This morning I want to apply this to knowing in relationships. So first and foremost we can know things about people by facts and reasoning. If we know somebody has integrity, we can reason that he or she will not lie to us. We can know things about a person we have never met. We can learn things about a person by what they say, what they have written, or by what others tell us about them. This is intellectual knowing, but there is more!

Experience plays a big part in knowing in relationships. We experience a person as cold or warm. We experiences hugs and smiles or not. What we know (experience) about a person depends a lot on what they allow us to know. Some people are an open book, others are hidden. We hide when we have been hurt. We talk about a person “letting us in,” or “shutting us out.” A useful word here is “revelation.” Both by our words, actions and attitudes (trust, openness etc.), we reveal ourselves, or not. Being open can make us feel vulnerable. After they had sinned, Adam and Eve hid from each other and from God, and blame and other negative things entered the game (Genesis 3:8-12).

The most spiritual of the three components of knowing in relationships, is intuitive knowing. And whether we acknowledge it or not, being made in the image of Trinity, our communication (revelation) and the resulting knowing is physical (experiential), mental and spiritual (analogous to intuitive). We talk about being kindred spirits. Identical twins have been known to be able to complete each other’s thoughts. When we meet someone for the first time, we may know intuitively if they can be trusted or not. In other words we know something about them intuitively, this is not by logic, not by the facts! We know a person best, when all of these interdependent aspects of knowing are at play! This is the essence of intimacy, or as someone put into-me-see.

Father, knowing in these three ways is totally relevant to how You are wanting us to know You. In fact, You use the analogy of the intended "knowing" (physical, mental and spiritual oneness) between a man and woman in marriage, as the intended relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:31, 32). For our part we have all fallen short (Romans 3:23). I know I have, but Your Mercy is great, and by Your Spirit we can always start anew from where we are “at.” Relationships are difficult Lord, but I know that You are ready, willing and able to help. I truly believe that when we come to You in total surrender and mutual submission, in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:21), that this will be a huge part in our experiencing life in all its fullness (John 10:10b). And we need Your help to do even our part. Thank You Lord that Your Grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16) is always available to those who ask (James 4:3) in Jesus Name Amen.