Sticks and stones, and broken bones and hearts

The title is of course referring to the old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!” But it’s not true, it’s really not. Words spoken in haste or in anger can go deep, especially in what were once loving relationships, or in what should have been loving relationships. In these scenarios, where we know each other well, we also know what will hurt the most, and words once spoken can never be fully retracted.

I am thinking of wives or husbands, parents, siblings and the like, and in the recovery circles in which I move, I see the devastation that cruel words have caused over and over. In particular there is so much damage done to self-worth, and this can go down through the generations. The saying, that people who are hurt in turn hurt others, is very true, as we all tend to act out of our inner wounds.

And the anger this causes, can turn either outward or inward. Some of us say things to ourselves, that we would never say to someone else. For example people tell themselves that they are losers, and that they will never amount to anything. Others are only too willing to turn their tongue loose on others (James 3:6). In my own case for many many years, I tended internalize the hurt, and this resulted in obsessive thinking and being many times, unavailable to the world. There is however, a cure for all of this, but it’s not being told “Get over it!” This when spoken to someone who is traumatized by the past, will likely be perceived as total lack of compassion and understanding, and can be the cruelest jibe of all! How very different from our instructions (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 4:6).

Father, though I had to learn this lesson, and though it took a long time, I did learn it in the end. Or perhaps I should say I am learning it! And what I am learning, is to embrace Your opinion of meover what others think and say about me. In particular I am learning to rest in the fact that I am a deeply love favourite son of Yours. We all are (or daughter)! I pray this morning Father, for those who have not yet entered, or fully entered into Your extravagant healing love, that they would increasingly find hope and peace and joy in Your embrace as You heal their broken and wounded hearts. In Jesus Name Amen