It takes a village to build, nurture and restore relationships (II) Reconciliation

I suggested last day, that in order to cooperate with the Lord in his agenda to heal broken hearts and set captives free (Luke 4:18), the church needs to teach Biblically-based recovery principles. This needs to include how He wants us to deal in love and honour with relationship difficulties and breakdowns within our fellowships. It needs, of course to include teachings about not judging, being kind and compassionate, not letting the sun go down on our wrath etc. etc. I have suggested, that the goal in relationships is to come to the foot of the cross in love and humility confessing our faults one to the other and praying for one another. But like Adam and Eve after the fall, that is not likely our first reaction (Genesis 3:12).

In light of the widespread breakdown of relationships and marriages even in the church, ministry needs to be much wider than just from the pastor. Others need to come alongside hurting couples, to give help and advice, to teach about their own struggles in conflict resolution. One of the strengths of twelve-step programs, is that they bringing people together with like struggles. Twelve-step programs are useful not only in dealing with alcohol and drugs, but in fact with all the issues of life, grief, divorce, codependency etc. etc. Christ centred twelve-step programs are particularly useful, as you can then tap into Biblical teachings, principles and resources. I want to mention two passages this morning that deal with the resolution of relationship difficulties when things go wrong in relationships within the fellowship. We will be looking at one in particular, in the coming days.

I have often heard, even among adults “Well he started it!” So what does the Bible say about whose responsibility it is to stop it? Well actually both! So firstly if it’s your fault, you need to “leave your gift at the altar and go and be reconciled to your brother” (Matthew 5:24). On the other hand when your brother sins against you, there are a number of steps that we are commanded to take. The first, is that the offended party needs to got and try and sort it out between the two of them. If this does not work, one or two others should be brought alongside as mediators. The third step, if the first two fail, is to bring it to the church, the “village” in the title of this post. Finally if there is a refusal even then to be reconciled, there is to be discipline “treat him like a tax collector” (Matthew 18:15-17). I know this sounds radical in our individualistic Western society. But how strongly Jesus felt about this process, is indicated by the fact that this is just one of two places where He felt it important enough to teach about Church, even before it came into existence (the other in Matthew 16:18).

Father, there seem to be one thousand and one ways that we can fail to put this last scripture into practice, in a Biblical way. But since Your primary goal in sending Jesus is to "gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him" (Ephesians 1:10), it is clearly very important to You. Give us the grace, courage and wisdom to do our part in this Lord. In Jesus Name Amen