The need to fight fair (I) An invitation to die!

A book title caught my eye called “An argument free marriage.” It’s not about conflict avoidance, but rather about the need to come together and fight the problems, rather than fighting each other. But most of us are not there yet, and will likely need to go through a period of disharmony or worse! These are the difficulties of which Paul would spare us (1 Corinthians 7:28). But one of the things that I think we need to keep constantly in mind, is that we are in a war to the death with the enemy of our souls (John 10:10a), and that our struggle is not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12). In other words our mate is not the enemy!

I am convinced that what needs to happen in order to have true intimacy, to have the Kingdom come in our marriage, is that we need to come together to the foot of the cross. It is only there I believe, that we gain the correct perspective. At the foot of the cross, where we see unconditional love and mercy flowing “mingled down,” we can start to see our sin, our shame and our dysfunction clearly without it, at the same time, devastating us. It is at the foot of the cross where, since all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, we come to see that there is no difference between us. At the foot of the cross, we can stop the blame game, we can ask the Lord to show us the frequently hidden parts that our individual faults play in our difficulties. In the light of His full acceptance and mercy, we can take responsibility for our faults and, as in the verse I keep quoting from James 5:16, we can confess them one to another and there find the promised healing.

We will not likely find our way there without struggle. When Jesus invites us to take up our cross daily and follow Him (Mark 8:34), He is in effect giving us an invitation to die. The invitation is to die to self, to our selfishness, to looking first after number one, to demanding that all my needs be met by the other persons. This kind of death does not come easily, in fact we can’t do it without a lot of help from Him. We read in Romans 8:13 “If you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” Notice it is both (a) by the Spirit, and (b) that it is “you” doing the putting to death. In other words it is about cooperation with God, it's about being a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1). Notice too that when we cooperate in this way “you will live!”

Father, thank You that You have made it possible for us to live a life that pleases You. And that when we come together to the foot of the cross and, with the help of your wonderful Holy Spirit, we apply the principles and promises of Your Word, then we will truly live. We will have peace and grace and mercy, and we will be fruitful. It's not easy Lord, but “Unless a seed fall to the earth and die, it abides alone. But if it dies, it produces much fruit" (John 12:24). We need Your help this morning Lord, I do, to be a living sacrifice, our only reasonable response to Your tender mercies. Thank You Lord that You are far more willing to give help, than we are to ask. And so when we ask, we can be sure that we will receive. Thank You Lord in Jesus Name Amen