You who are spiritual… considering yourself (II) Hidden things

The thing about things we hide from ourselves and others, is that they are hidden, we don’t see them. Many times, we don’t even know there is anything to see. But there are clues, the seemingly minor issues that arise in long-term relationships, toast crumbs in the butter, toilet seat left up, cap left off the toothpaste, for example. These things are frequently not the issue, rather they symptoms of much deeper issues which, for whatever reason, fear or shame etc., are buried deep in the subconscious. I know people who have been angry their entire life, and don’t even know it. It feels so normal to them because they have never experienced anything else. But you know they are angry because of the punishing silences, passive aggression, sarcasm presented as if in jest, but is deadly serious and cuts to the quick.

Being honest with ourselves and others can be scary, it can leave us feeling naked and vulnerable and unsafe. But unless and until we come out of hiding, both from ourselves and from others, we can have neither true peace nor true intimacy. The reason Adam and Eve tried to hide behind their fig leaves after the fall, was that they were no longer safe. But fig leaves are an inadequate cover, as are the lies we tell ourselves and others. We need a safe place. The safest place, and the one who provides the best cover is God. “If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:7, 9). We also need to find or create safe places among ourselves. It likely starts with finding just one fellow traveler along the road to recovery, who will understand, who will not condemn, and who will hold our confession in the strictest confidence. It is here that we find healing (James 5:16). It seems worth noting, that most people involved in twelve-step programs are safe.

Last day, I suggested the working the steps and twelve-step programs can be very useful in the necessary work of becoming spiritual and “considering ourselves,” in coming out of hiding. Step 8 says “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” One of the ways to do this, is to make a list of persons who have hurt us, and then to ask ourselves and the Lord “What part did I play in this?” I want to be careful here, because it’s common for people who have suffered abuse to blame themselves, this is wrong! But in most cases, we will likely have contributed to the problem. At the very least, our responses to the hurts received are likely to be wrong. Wrong responses to wrongs done, compound the problems!

Father, I think it was Socrates who said that the unexamined life is not worth living. What I see, is that until we start to take off the fig leaves under which we hide, we can be at peace neither with ourselves, nor with the World. Nor we will even starts to know who we are! It is scary Lord, it takes courage. Nevertheless I ask you this morning to search me, O God, and know my heart; See if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23, 24). Thank You Lord for Your unconditional acceptance, Your forgiveness and Your cleansing. Help us to be and to create safe places as we “consider ourselves” in these ways, and so to be being transformed into Your likeness. In Jesus Name Amen