Guilt, shame and conscience (V) Forgiving myself

Since God is a God of justice and we are made in His image, it is very natural for us to have a strong sense of justice, a sense that wrongdoing should be punished, and that something should be done about injustice. This may be pure as when it leads, in a godly way, to campaigning against injustice. William Wilberforce’s lifelong campaign against slavery comes to mind. But it can be perverted, out of balance, lacking mercy (another attribute of God), and can finish up in a self-righteous judgemental attitude towards others. It can also be turned inward against ourselves. How many of us, for whatever reason, have exclaimed “I can never forgive myself, I do not deserve to be forgiven!” The fact of the matter is however, that not one of us deserves to be forgiven.

I have heard people say they expect (hope) that God will balance their good and bad deeds. But justice doesn't work like that! What good deed would make up for murder for example? "But mi'lord he helps little old ladies across the street!" It's irrelevant to the verdict! But I thank God again this morning that in Christ justice and mercy have kissed (Psalm 85:10). In particular the substitutionary sacrifice of our perfect saviour is more than sufficient to cover all sin. “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God” (1 Peter 3:18). So if I’m having a hard time forgiving me, I might need to ask myself “What punishment would be enough to make it right?” Surely my self-condemnation would not require a greater punishment than the excruciating death of Christ on the cross. Indeed the word excruciating itself reflects the severity of the pain of crucifixion.

I said earlier that forgiveness may need to be a journey, rather than an instant fix. Unforgiveness is a sin that needs to be repented of, and it starts with a choice. It is a process, and I may need to choose to forgive over and over. This is true whether it be forgiving others, or forgiving myself. The picture of the new birth is important here, “If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17). I am not the same person who did the deed, that person is dead! Indeed “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (Galatians 2:20). The new man is how God sees us, and part of living by faith, is choosing to see ourselves as God sees us, and living out of that, as the reality it really is (Romans 6:11).

Father, the song by Godfrey Birtill comes to mind where You sing over us “Do you believe what I believe about you?” And as the good and loving Father that You are, You think we are amazing. So I choose this morning Father, to believe what You believe about me. With Your help, I will operate out of sonship, rather than out of an orphan spirit. This too is a process, but I know that You have begun a good work in me, and will keep right on working on it until the day I see You face-to-face (Philippians 1:6). And for this I thank and praise You again this morning Lord in Jesus Name Amen