Iron sharpening iron (III) Self examination

The saying “The unexamined life is not worth living” is attributed to Socrates, but it also has Biblical warrant. “Let a man examine himself” (1 Corinthians 11:28). Socrates is telling us why, and so is the Bible. In particular, life going well and our choosing to honour others are related (Ephesians 6:2). In particular, when we are in conflict with someone, we need to remember that the other person is made in God’s image and worthy of honour, even if we believe their actions are not. There is a lot that is hidden! For example we don’t have a clue many times, why we react the way we do. Have you ever taken an instant dislike to somebody you just met, whom you could not possibly know? Some of that can be intuition, as when the person has an air of arrogance about them. But in my experience there have been times when some characteristic of that person reminded me of someone who had hurt me in the past. I was, however only able to figure it out afterwards.

Many times when we are reactive in our interpersonal relationships, we may think we know what’s going on. But as we were saying yesterday, the presenting issue may be covering something much deeper. And if we are going to cooperate with God in the iron sharpening iron process, we need first and foremost to stop and take stock. In particular we need to nip the blame game in the bud, and with God’s help examine ourselves. The other person may have triggered some guilt or shame, or some unforgiven, perceived or real, misdeed from the past. We may be overreacting, being oversensitive or misunderstanding. We may be reading into the situation something that may not be there. It may be some wrong to which we have been unwilling to admit. In any case, more likely than not, there will be faults on both sides. But even if this is not the case, we need to be willing to be shown!

There is a basic question we need to ask ourselves in all of this, it is “Am I willing to be shown my fault in all of this?" If not, then “my brother may need to show me my fault” (Matthew 18:15ff). As for me, I would much rather the Lord show me, than my brother show me! He knows the best way to tell me, and when we ask Him "Search my heart oh God, to see if there be any wicked way within me” (Psalm 139:24), He is always gentle. There are always consequences to leaving things unexamined, and therefore unresolved. We need to become willing to be shown what needs to be show. This might be a process! We won’t fool God by going through the motions, and many times He will wait so that He can be gracious to us (Isaiah 30:18).

Father, You ask us rhetorically “If God be for us who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). And since You have our back in all things, there is always a purpose and what You allow. So Father help us to regard each negative thing as an opportunity for You to work in us. We do of course need to cooperate, so we need, I need, You to remind us, to nudge us, to help us to stop, and then to yield to You and to each other. Father, it is so much less painful for us to confess our faults one to another, than it is to have the other one show us our fault. But in all Lord, You have promised to be at work for our good (Romans 8:28), and we give You all the honour and glory and praise again this morning, in Jesus Name Amen