Iron sharpening iron (II) Getting to the source

We don’t know what we don’t know. Perhaps an obvious statement, but one with profound implications for the subject at hand. I remember a pastor telling me “It’s not that you’re not good with words, it’s that you’re too good with words!” I had not realized that, together with my outgoing, some would say domineering character, had left some feeling intimidated. When, for whatever reason, people don’t feel free to speak their mind, resentments tend to build up. And they will come out somewhere, they will! It can lead to punishing silences, or majoring on minor irritations. “You left toast crumbs in the butter.” That particular irritation can of course be solved by having his and hers butter, but solving that irritation is not solving the hidden communication problem.

There is a phenomenon that I have noticed, which the Bible spoke about a couple thousand years ago. I’m talking about the fact that quite often the faults that annoy us most about others, are the very same faults we ourselves have (Romans 2:1). I first noticed this years ago was driving a young lady home from a meeting. This young woman talked, and talked, and talked without stop. One of the things she said was that she could not stand another member of the fellowship. When I asked her what it was that she didn’t like about him, she replied “Well you can’t get a word in edgeways!” She didn’t see it, she really didn’t! And then there are those things that arise out of our unspoken expectations. “Dad always took the trash out, but that lazy bum always leaves it to me!” His mom always took the trash out, so how is he expected to know? “Well if he loved me, he would know!” But we are not mind readers, well most of us are not anyway!

If it’s true that God wants to use significant relationships as a tool in our character polishing, and it is, then it’s better that we start to cooperate with Him sooner, rather than later. In particular, when we have come to the place where we are both committed in a relationship (I’m not just talking about romantic relationships), then we need to see each and every negative reaction as an opportunity to “iron sharpening iron.” And the sooner we start this, the better! The goal is to come to the place where we truly regard the other is better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3), and to approach each other with love, honour and humility. Can you imagine how much easier it would be if we started here? But as with so many of His commands it is a process!

Father, we need Your help Lord, I do! Too often what we are fixated on the end result, or we simply just want to get rid of the pain. But Lord over and over in Scripture we see that You use the difficulties, the trials and the temptations and even the failures, as Your tools to make the Biblical characters (and therefore us too) more like You. I am grateful this morning Lord, that You have not left us to struggle alone, but always when we fully cooperate with You, You give us with the command the wherewithal to obey. You even change our desires to conform to Yours (Philippians 2:12, 13)! But thank You also Lord, for Your promised that when we delight ourselves and You, You give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4) in Jesus Name Amen