A time to embrace, a time to refrain from embracing (II) Separation

I regard the timing of a recently reconciled couple sitting in the fellowship last night for the first time,  as no coincidence. The passage that was on my heart is Paul’s instructions to the married “A wife is not to separate from her husband. But even if she does separate, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:10, 11). What had happened to this couple, is that the wife and come to the end of her rope with her drug addict husband. And so with good reason she left him. This was the very thing her husband needed, it was his bottom, and he became willing and determined to change. In His sovereignty the Lord connecting him with Christians, and he got saved and gloriously delivered from his addiction. The wife subsequently also got saved. And there they were,  sitting happily in the fellowship holding hands, and beaming with the peace and joy of the Lord. Hallelujah!

I was talking yesterday about the sanctity of marriage, and how we give up far too easily. The point is, that separation should not be undertaken lightly. Nor should withdrawal and punishing silences be used to control, this is nothing but manipulation. But as I said above, in this case the wife and every reason to get out.  And there are certainly circumstances in which I would counsel one or the other of a married couple to pull back. And I think that this is what lies behind this statement from Ecclesiastes 3:5 telling us that there is a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.  I do not however, think that this should be undertaken without a lot of serious consideration, and godly counsel. But the Scripture, while upholding the sanctity of marriage, does indicate with these passages,  that there are circumstances in which it is likely unavoidable.

I  will want to deal with the situation where one is a believer and the other an unbeliever next day. But this morning I want to emphasize two things from this passage. Firstly then “let her remain unmarried or be reconciled,” and secondly a “husband is not to divorce his wife.” It seems to me, that the Lord is once more showing us that His primary desire is for reconciliation, and that His very best is that any period of separation would lead to the place where once again it is “a time to embrace.” At the risk of being overly repetitive, I want to say again that we give up far too easily. Having said that, there are many questions that this passage raises, but does not answer. What if the husband does divorce the wife, is she then free to remarry? And is this instruction intended to be obeyed for life, or is it better to burn than to eventually divorce and remarry (1 Corinthians 7:9)?

Father, it’s very easy, when we are not personally faced with the situation, to make pronouncements about what should or should not happen. In particular when we see things in terms of black-and-white, it is very easy to operate without compassion or love. I myself have been deeply hurt by the attitude of some! As always Lord on both sides of the equation, we need to be kind and compassionate one to another,  forgiving one another just as you gave us in Christ. So help us Lord,  and I will give you praise and honour and glory in Jesus Name Amen