Sins of the Fathers and resulting curses (II) The principle/ promise

This morning we will be looking at the principle and the promise contained in  God “visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate Me,  but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments” (Exodus 20:5,6).  Two immediate things. First if you are tempted to say this does not apply to you because you don’t hate God, know that if we do not love Him with all our  heart,  mind soul and strength and our neighbour as ourselves it is the same as hate.  There is no  no fence, because  being lukewarm makes Him want puke (Revelation 3:16).  The second thing is that other translations  have “I punish the children for the father’s sins” (i.e. NIV).  This translations is logically possible, but  would contradict Ezekiel 18:20 which says “The child will not be punished for the parent's sins.” So then "visiting" is to be preferred, but what does it  mean?

Secular research has shown very clearly that family patterns of dysfunction have a tendency to be repeated down the generations.  So for example where there is a family history of  divorce, alcoholism, suicide, codependency etc., etc., there is  a much higher probability of the children falling into the same trap, than there is in the general population.  It is not automatic, it can be changed (this is where the “but” in the quote comes in). So we can think of the phrase “the sins are visited” in terms of the Bible telling us that the sins of the fathers negatively affect the children and influence them to repeat family patterns. And the default is to repeat them. The apple does not fall far from the tree. But the promise is that this also works positively.

In particular, as with other “buts” in the Bible,  the “but” changes everything. It gives us hope that the past need not be the  future, especially for our children. We can change their spiritual, emotional and behavioural legacy, and the Bible tells us the how. In particular, it can be changed by (a) loving God, and (b) obeying His commandments (verse 6).  In terms of (b), there is much to unpack. But sufficient to say here,  that this passage comes in the midst of the ten commandments one of which is to honour parents (verse 12).  As I said earlier  most parents  do their very best for their children.  And the very best way for any of us to help,  is  stand in the gap and do the hard work of recovery.   When we do our part, He will do His, it’s a promise.

Father, it is hard to come to terms with our failures as parents, but to the extent we are willing to come out of denial and deal with what needs to be dealt with,  is the extent to which we leave a positive legacy for our children. And as long as we have breath, it is not too late.  I am convinced Father, that the very best thing we can do for our children is to proactively engage with some of the recovery ministries You are raising up to get our hearts healed. In this way Lord,  even if the time to speak is past,  we can still show our children  the way. Thank You Lord in Jesus Name Amen