Sins of the Fathers and resulting curses (VII) Making things worse

When we have received  negative words,  actions and attitudes from “the Fathers,” those in whom we are in significant relationship, we can  make things worse by cursing ourselves in at least two ways.  Firstly, by embracing the lies, spoken or unspoken that surround these things. Secondly by making inner vows that set negative consequence in motion.  We touched on the need to deal with negative self talk in several posts in “The war on negativity” (July). This morning we are taking this further and saying that actually,  when we embrace the lies,  speak negatively about ourselves and make dishonouring vows,  we are  actually  cursing ourselves.

If we have never had encouragement from our caregivers,  or worse,  been told that we will never be any good, it is all too  easy to embrace the spoken or unspoken lie.  And it is a lie, I mean “God don’t make no junk.” You are awesome,  and you need to believe it because “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).  It can be subtle forms in terms of lack of confidence,  as we tell ourselves “I could never do that.” It is a curse however, because  it becomes self fulfilling prophecy. I mean  if we believe it, we  either won’t even try, or if we do, do so in a half hearted manner, or we won’t try again when we fail (and mistakes and  failure are  all  part of the learning process)!  And in order to succeed we do need to give it all we have,  and to not give up when we fail, but to try, try, tray again. And we need to banish fear of failure!  The truth is “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).   Much worse,  is when we embrace the lie along the lines that we are are a looser, telling ourselves  when we have blown it “You are such an idiot.”

The second way we curse ourselves can at first seem positive. We might vow,  for example “I’ll never be like my dad.”  But  how many people have made such inner vows only to find years later,  that  they are exactly like him in the area they so despise.  There are two thing going on here. First of all this inevitably involves judgement,  and we cannot judge a parent without dishonouring them.  And when we do this,  it will not go well with us (Ephesians 6:2, 3).  We do not need to honour negative behaviour or attitudes, but we do need to honour them as our parents (see 7 August post).  The second thing is that it seems to be a law that we take on the characteristics of anything on which we focus. This is why idolatry is bad. So if I focus on not being like dad, I am focusing on dad,  and  I will inevitably become like  him.  We need to repent and renounce these self curses. Here is a sample prayer to do that.

Father, I forgive myself for believing the negative words spoken over me, and for making inner vows I may not even remember.  I repent for giving them  place in my life. I ask You to forgive me Lord, and I receive Your forgiveness. I renounce and break the legal rights/power of these curses in my life,  based on the shed blood of Jesus Christ,  and His finished work on the Cross. I appropriate the power of the Cross to cancel all judgements and to stop all demonic influence associated with these curses, in Jesus Name Amen