Can human jealousy be legitimate

By “coincidence” just after I posted last day’s post “A zealous, jealous God, ” I came across an article by Jimmy Evans of “marriage today” entitled “Legitimate Jealousy in Marriage.” He points out that if God’s can have legitimate jealousy, so can humans. Evens mentions the jealousy one would feel if someone wanted to kidnap your child. But I would suggest that there is a legitimate the jealousy we (in my opinion) should feel, when someone is trying to sexualize my child, in the perverse sexual propaganda of our culture. No matter what you think of home schooling, to me, this would be a one of a number of valid reasons I might want to! Nobody is saying that all human jealousy is legitimate. In fact any jealously, legitimate or not, can be handled wrongly manifest itself in manipulative, controlling or overprotective behaviour or worse.  But if it can be overprotective,  it can also be under-protective too,  if we  fail to protect or intervene when legitimate concerns are on the horizon.


Another example of when one might legitimately feel jealousy, would be when a husband looks lustfully at another woman. It is very common of course, and the charge “You are jealous” would be correctly answered with “rightly so, your behaviour demeans, humiliates and disrespects me, and makes me the object of scorn and pity!” This is the very opposite of nourishing and cherishing her (Ephesians 5:28,29). And this is perhaps just one of the many reason Jesus rightly calls it a sin saying “I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). So if it is adultery, is not the wife entitled to feel a righteous jealousy? And this works both ways of course!


So what about pornography, surly as some say, it is harmless? I have heard Christians tell me it is only art, and it is beauty that God created. I would be the last to say that some of it is not beautiful, but most of it is more and more perverse. One Christian told me how its beauty inspired him. So I asked him “Does it turn you on?” Well his answer put it well into the context of what Jesus was talking about above. Pornography is rampant in our culture and let's make no mistake about it, it is destructive. I personally know of marriage that have been destroyed by it. I am told that pornography is as addictive as heroin, and like all addictions often the first response to those caught in its grip is denial. But it is for freedom that Christ has set us free (Galatians 5:1). Nobody is saying that dealing with this is easy. 

Father, I wrote this this morning in neither self righteousness nor to lay a guilt trip on anyone. "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ" (Romans 8:1). As Paul says “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful.” And with Paul I will “not be brought under the power of anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12). We need Your help Lord, I do. Thank You too that this, as well as many other hurts, habits and hangups are the very reason You have raised up inner healing ministries like Celebrate Recovery. We need to find  safe places to hold one another  accountable Lord, for this is where we obtain healing (James 5:16). Help us to come out of denial and seek the help we need in Jesus Name Amen