No one, having drunk old wine, immediately desires new; for he says “The old is better”

There is a recovery saying that we will not change until the pain of being stuck becomes greater than the fear of change. It is not an absolute truth, but many times it is true. In particular there is comfort in the familiarity of the old wine, of our hurst, habits and hangups. And there is always some positive pay off. For example if we are in the grip an addiction, and in denial of the damage it's doing, we can avoid dealing with life by escaping into our habit. And it's not just substance abuse. The wife of an alcoholic can gain kudos from her friends “You are amazing, I couldn’t do that!” In this way we don’t immediately desire the freedom we can gain by coming out of denial and dealing with the issues. Better the devil you know! And things may need to get very much worse, before we are willing to take the necessary action, and/or face our problems without medicating them. And it's actually good news that the problems feel worse in the morning. It can leads us into recovery., and in fact  He designed it that way. 

In recovery circles there is a lot of talk about reaching your bottom. This is the place where things get so bad, that we become willing, desperate enough, to try anything (we will not change until …). My first bottom was actually a series of ever deeper bottoms, as the rug was taken out from under my feet multiple times. It lead to my conversion. I was desperate enough to try God. He would never have held me had He not been real. But of course He is. But we don’t have to get desperate to enter into recovery. Some come to recovery circles because they want to help “those people,” only to discover as they embrace the teachings, that they are one of them! It seems to me that we all are, and that if we don’t know it, we are in denial. I had to come to a very different bottom before I could see that I am one of those people!

In the process of moving from the place where we don’t immediately desire the new, to the place where we do, is, well, it’s a process! And it will likely involve our being double minded for a while. I was! I remember wanting a certain addiction, but not wanting to want it. As I persisted it changed to not wanting it, but wanting to want its comfort! However let not a double minded man think he will receive anything from the Lord (James 1;6). The good news though, is that when we fully make up our minds  to give it everything we are and have (half measures profited us nothing), then the Lord works both in our desires changing them to desire the new, and in giving us the grace to do what without Him can seem impossible (Philippians 2:12,12).

Father, the first step in twelve-step programs is to come out of denial, and it seems to me that we are all in denial about something. I mean there is so much that needs to be dealt with even,  if we don't see it. At some level denial is a necessary defense mechanism. But Lord I am asking this morning that You open our eyes to see what You are in this moment waning to deal with, and then please change our desires and give us the grace to change in Jesus Name Amen