Unclaimed baggage and denial

In a book entitled  “Unclaimed baggage,” the authors Don and Jan Frank remind us  that we all have a  history  of the events and experiences,  that make up our lives.   And part of this history is baggage, which is defined as  the emotional responses to certain negative aspects of our history. That can be difficult, but it’s not just what we feel, or refuse to feel (because it is too painful) that's the problem. No it's that if we do not deal with our baggage, it will negatively affect how we act in the present and in the future. In discussing unclaimed baggage, the Franks use the analogy of luggage not picked up from the airport,  to discuss baggage  not dealt with.  And to a greater or lesser extent,  we all have unclaimed baggage.  It could be grief not fully processed, or unforgiveness. It could be  guilt,  shame, or a whole host of other things.  The point is that,  whether we admit it or not, our unclaimed baggage significantly influences the way we respond to life. I liken it to a sore thumb. If somebody bumps your sore thumb,  you are likely to react more strongly than if there was no injury.

It is the same with our baggage, much of which sits below the surface of consciousness.  We can be triggered by things we simply don’t understand.  Have you ever for example, had an instant dislike for someone you just met, and you have no idea why?  For the longes time I had negative reactions to anyone with an Oxford accent (the British equivalent or Harvard). Part of this was a history of being put down by the apparent (or real) air of superiority of graduates from that institution.  Of course not evryone's like that!  Perhaps I was jealous, but if you think I am going to admit that,  think again :).  It’s called denial, and most of us come by it honestly!  I mean those who influence us were likely also  in denial,  and they taught us well!

Denial is about refusing to see something,  even when it is obvious to everyone except you.  This can be the case even when the consequences of refusing to face reality is disastrous.  This sort of thing is rampant  in those  caught up in  addictions. We hear “I can give it up anytime I want, I just don’t want to.”  Or “I don’t have a problem, it’s you who has the problem refusing to accept me as I am!”   But we can be in denial about all sorts of things, not just addictions.  Some of the issues that we deal with in Celebrate Recovery  (Google it) include high anxiety; co-dependency; compulsive behaviours; sex addiction; financial dysfunction; drug and alcohol addictions; and eating disorders. And we can be in denial about any,  or all of these issues.

Father, it seems to me the most common thing we deny, is that we are in denial about anything.   I know in my own life I had to come to my bottom before I was willing to admit that my way of living life was not working. Actually I had to come to several ever deeper bottoms. Thank You Lord that when we are willing to come out of denial and turn to You in repentance (even when we are already Christians), You are ready willing and able not only forgive us, but also to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). In Jesus name Amen