Anger and honour. Generational sins (Part 9)

The idea we all have as infants, that our parents are all wise and all-knowing, will likely always have disappeared by the teenage years, sometimes much, much earlier. Certainly no parent is perfect, and being angry at one’s parents, especially the father, is quite common. But the principle/promise that our own failings will not be visited upon our children is contingent upon our turning to God to love and obey Him (Exodus 20:6). And one of His commandments,given in this very context, is that we should honour our fathers and mothers (Exodus 20:12).

It is hard to honour someone when you’re angry with them, but this commandment has a promise attached to it. And the promises is “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:3). And though for some it may be hard, it is necessary for our spiritual health and the spiritual health of those we love (Hebrews 12:15). I have heard it said that unforgiveness and bitterness, is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It seems to be true. We need to forgive and honour our parents even for our own sake!

Honouring your father and mother is about being respectful of their position in words and actions, even if they don’t deserve it. I am linking honour and forgiveness in this post. But it does not honour our parents if we continue to let them abuse or manipulate us. Likewise forgiveness is very different from saying that what happened, or what they did was right, or that we should continue to put up with things that are wrong. As adults, we may in fact even have to respectfully distance ourselves from them at times. And the principal that I think applies here is “As much as is possible within you live at peace with all” (Romans 12:18). It is not always possible!

Father, perhaps there are many reading this post who had a very happy childhood, and kind and loving parents. But I know that this is very far from always being the case! But in any case, there are always issues that need to be dealt with. I know I will never be perfect in this life, but what I want to pass on to my children, and my children’s children, is the example of dealing with issues as You reveal them to me. Thank You Lord, for the help that comes with each such revelation, and thank You that You continue to work in me to make me more like You. We cannot do this without You Lord. We cannot in Jesus Name Amen