The prison of shame fear and control

If anyone ever found out … i would die! Shame, debilitating shame, it crushes and overpowers our spirit, it robs us of our Joy and controls us. It keeps us trapped and isolated. They must not find out, and so I need to be guarded lest I let it slip. Better to keep others at a distance. But shame grows in the dark, it increases in the dark, and so does the pain, so does the isolation, and so does the fear and the control. It is a prison. But thank God that Jesus came to set the prisoners free (Luke 4:18)!

There is a recovery saying that is so appropriate here “You are only as sick as your secrets.” The Christ centred twelve step ministry that I am part of uses James 5:16 here. It says “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Actually the very fact of keeping your shame hidden is a trespass and a sin. It is a sin against yourself because it keeps you trapped, and you were made to be free in the Lord! It is a sin against others, because you cannot hide in this way without negatively affecting your relationships! But I do realize that the thought of coming out of hiding can be scary, very scary. We do need to find somebody who is safe, someone who will not judge us and will keep our secret in the strictest confidence!

The way our recovery ministry handles this, because our goal is freedom, is to suggest that we find just one safe person to confess to. Some would ask “Why do I need to confess to another person, God has forgiven me?” Well yes we confess to God to be forgiven (1 John 1:9), but we confess to one another to be healed (James 5:16). So the question is “Do you want to be made whole” (John 5:6)? Part of what all this means, is that in the end, the prison of shame is one of our own making!

Father, every Christian aught to be safe, but this is not the case! I mean I am in no position to judge anyone, but not everyone seems to have this knowledge (Romans 2:1). I want to thank You again this morning for the freedom I found in confessing to the safe person You gave me. And I found out again the truth that there is no temptation that is not common to man (1 Corinthians 10:13). In particular, he told me had the same fault! And what freedom that brought. It is true that if the Son sets you free you are free indeed (John 8:32). And I thank and praise You again this morning in His precious Name Amen